Syndrome
by emeraldwolf
Summary: TURTLE SLASH! DonRaph, RaphLeo, MikeyDon. A four chapter fic, each chapter told from the first person POV of one of the turtles. This fic deals with the relationships, platonic and otherwise, between the brothers after the most recent movie's ending.
1. Chapter 1

Supposed to be set in the universe of the movies, including the newest one. Occurs right after the end of the movie.

This was totally inspired by spacefille so I blame her for this.

First person POV. Bordering on stream of consciousness at times. Be prepared.

Donny is probably the turtle I identify the least with, so bare with me.

If you don't like TURTLE SLASH, aka: TURTLECEST, aka TURTLES LIKING EACH OTHER AS MORE THAN BROTHERS, please don't read this fic and leave me comments about it, okay?

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"Yo…wake up man."

I feel someone shaking my shoulder, and my lips detach from the desk where they've affixed themselves over the night. Eww…drool spot.

I rub at my mask and look up, seeing my older brother standing over me.

"Don, don't tell me you been out here all night again?" Raph says, while giving me a playful punch to the head. I just smile up at my brother and shrug. He knows how I can be when I really get into something.

"Leo wants us all in the training room, alright braniac?" His large hand lingers on my shoulder for a second longer than it need to, before he lets it drag down my shoulder as he walks out of my lab.

Shivers play their way up my spine, and I can feel the tingle in my shell. Just a brush of his fingers can do that to me. I'm really falling apart. It's been a while, maybe a week since the last time. Of course whenever anything happens between us, its when Raph wants it. He just comes in, doesn't say a word, and starts running his hands along my shell.

It may have caught me by surprise the first time my aggressive brother showed such a strange side to himself. But now its becoming just another part of life.

I'm his weakness. He needs me.

I suppose if I'm honest I need him too.

I stand up and stretch to try and work out the kink that is in my neck from sleeping at my desk all night. The new communication system I've been working on lays to the side, luckily outside of the area where my tongue felt like taking up residence over the night.

"Yo my man Donny! Dude, you missed breakfast," Mikey calls out, holding up a mostly empty pizza box. I see fruit loop pizza and my formerly dry morning mouth is now salivating.

"We'll wait until Donatello's done with breakfast, then we'll get started," Leo says as he walks in. That's weird, he's strapping on his katanas. Munching on the cold stale pizza I manage to mumble just enough sensible words that Leonardo realizes I'm asking him a question.

"Sensei says we've been spending too much time on just strength and skill lately. We're gonna do some real ninja training. All stealth today."

I look over to Raph and we roll our eyes. Everyone knows Leo loves being a real ninja. Stealth is one of his strong suits.

If I didn't trust our fearless leader to tell the truth all the time, I'd worry that Splinter had absolutely no say in what Leonardo decided we needed to work on today. He just looks a little too pleased with himself.

"So what, we're gonna play hide and go seek?" Mikey's voice goes from slightly amused to sarcastic to outright hopefulness. Poor Mikey, he tries hard to be serious. Its not his fault he's not as focused as Leo.

"More like tag. But with teams. Two on two. To tag you have to touch with your weapon, and no throwing them," Leo's eyes slide over to meet Raph's. Obviously this rule is meant for our red bandana wearing brother.

"What are the boundaries of the game?" I ask, patting my plastron over my chest to try and assuage the heartburn I seem to be developing after that fruit loop pizza.

"We stay in the sewers, no going above ground, and stay within this area. Remember, the winning team is the one with the most touches. Me and Raph versus you and Mikey."

I won't look upset. I just nod and smile to Mikey. Weird. He looks upset. Just for a second his face is hanging in a frown, before he perks up and shouts some kind of challenge to our elder brothers.

Why would he be so upset? He's not the one being denied the chance to hide in dark corners with the brother who's been sneaking into your room for the past month and having his way with you.

"Lets do this already," Raph yells and I see his hand reach into the pouch hanging next to his sais. I manage to cover my nose and mouth and close my eyes before the smoke pellets burst at my feet.

"Gah!!"

Obviously Mikey wasn't as fortunate.

"Oh man. They know I have allergies. Dis thucks."

It takes me a minute to translate the language my brother speaks when his nose is stuffed up. Not a very long minute, mind you, I am pretty good at this kind of stuff.

"Its alright, we better get going though, we'll be sitting ducks here," I say as I remove my bo from across my shell and take the point, Mikey following along and trying not to sniffle and give away our position.

The tunnels are dark, but we have pretty good night vision and there is a waxing gibbous tonight, so the sewer grates let through squares of separated moonlight.

Mike's nose must have stopped bothering him because the incessant sniffling has come to an end.

Unfortunately, so has our path. I was mostly following Raph and Leo by instinct, trying to listen to the sounds of the sewer and follow where I thought they might end up. Now we're in a dead end.

I thought for sure they'd be in the corner waiting for us to arrive.

"Uh, Donny? We lost em, didn't we?"

"Yup."

"Crap," Mikey sighs heavily and leans against the curved tunnel wall. He definitely seems more melancholy today than usual.

"What's wrong?" I don't lean next to him. At least one of us has to be ready for Raph and Leo to show up at any second.

This is stupid though. Leo should have known that Mikey and me are the worst at our stealth abilities. Here we've barely begun and we're already standing in the middle of a partially lit corridor, having a conversation.

"Ever feel like we're the last ones to be picked for the dodge ball team?" My brother looks up at me, with big sad eyes ringed in orange. Mikey's always had big eyes.

I pretend to not know what he means, but I feel it in my gut. Leo leads, Raph is the strongest. What do I have? Well, I'm the smartest.

Because being able to network computers and fix the reception on underground cell phones are both highly sought after traits in trained ninjas.

And Mikey, well, without Mikey I'm sure we'd be dead. We'd have killed each other by now.

But we all know in a fight we're practically sidekicks. And it shows. When Leo left, Raph was the only one that kept up the fight. Even with the constant bickering between those two, they're more like each other than they know.

"They're like Fred and Daphne."

Okay, maybe I shouldn't zone out when I'm supposed to be listening to my brother. So sue me.

"Huh?"

Oh yes, I'm also the eloquent one.

"You know, back in the Scooby Doo cartoons. Everybody splits up, and Fred always picks Daphne to go with him. 'Course they were usually making out in the basement somewhere while everyone else was out huntin' ghosts," Mikey stands up and brushes himself off, taking one of his nunchakus out and getting it ready, "Come on Don, lets go teach em."

He laughs and its good to see him happy again. Must be nice to bounce back so fast. I nod and we leave again, quieter and faster than last time.

I pause at a junction and look to Mikey who motions left. I don't question him. He's probably as clueless as I am, but at least this way I don't have to make a decision.

That's not my job, Leo and Raph do just fine on that front. I build things, I fix things, I plan things. Telling people what to do is the job for the oldest. And they do it well.

Especially Raph.

A hand reaches out and grabs my elbow by its pad and pulls me flush against the tunnel. My adrenaline rushes to my head and hands before I realize its just Mikey. I lower my bo, which is already up and ready to defend me.

He brings one finger up to his lips and I get the hint. I start looking into all the shadowy crevices nearby, looking for a glint of a blade or a flash of a red bandana string.

My little brother is looking up though, and I jerk my head to follow his, staff ready and solid in my hands. But up on the walkway Raph and Leo aren't posing a threat to us.

In fact, they don't even realize we're here.

Raph is too busy trying to perform a tonsillectomy on Leo using only his tongue. Or possibly the other way around.

Its hard to see from here.

Next to me Mikey's mouth hangs open, and I'm suddenly terrified he'll say something.

I reach over and clamp my hand over his beak and glare into his surprised eyes. Even wider than usual.

Maybe we all had big eyes like Mikey's when we were young and untainted.

He takes the hint and is silent, sinking to his knees in confused shock as he watches our brothers as they press closer together, their beaks mimicking a human's mouth as they press together and turn with each other, eyes closed and blissfully oblivious.

And the funny thing is, its not that Raph is putting the moves on my other brother that disturbs me. The fact that his incestuous need for someone beneath him isn't what upsets me either.

And it certainly isn't the fact that he's kissing Leo, who's barely been back for more than a week or two, when he's been bedding me for months now and has never attempted something like that with me.

Oh no. Its Leo's hand. Its not pressing into Raph's thigh, leaving bruises like I've been getting from our aggressive brother for the past few months.

And its not doing anything risqué, like sneaking up into our sai wielding psycho's shell.

Its just sitting there. With Raph's bandana ties twined around his fingers. Leo's hand, gripping the back of Raph's neck and holding him there.

Raph is doing the same to him, but its obvious, this isn't forced.

Raphael didn't pin Leo to that catwalk, he didn't use his brute force and weight to slam him against the wall, make him dizzy to throw him off balance. He didn't have to gag him. Although it is hard to talk when playing tonsil hockey.

Leo's wrists aren't tied to the ends of the bo staff pressed against the back of his shell, shoulders wrenching every time Raph leans closer in, with all the force his heavy body can muster.

No, they just sit there. Enjoying themselves.

Did he think I'd run?

Did he think I'd reject him?

I release Mikey's beak and walk off, my little brother practically clinging to me as we leave. He was done watching long before I was. I know he wants to say something. I know he wants to talk about it, gossip about it. He may even just be dying to ask me a question about it.

I slam my bo against a pipe we pass, making sure it will ring loud enough for Raph and Leo to hear. Despite their state of distraction.

The walk to the lair is awkward and silent. I can see Michelangelo out of the corner of my eye. His mouth keeps opening, like he's ready to do it. To break the silence and possibly break me in the process.

He stays silent. For once.

I enter the lair like I'm on autopilot and head to my room. I close the door right as Mikey works up the courage to say something. I don't care.

The slam of the door drowns it out anyway.

Why am I not happy? No more lovebites to try and hide. No more bruised thighs for no reason. No my rope burns.

No more pain. No more unearned aggression.

I guess no more Raph. Then again, who knows? After all, now I have confirmed all my theories. He was using me.

What's to keep him from continuing it? If he comes tonight, what do I say to him?

I don't want him to not come.

The thought of never feeling him again. The thought of never being noticed again.

I can't even pretend I was just a replacement for Leo. I didn't even make it that far on Raphael's radar.

I'm stress relief.

The sound of my two brothers returning home and complaining to Mikey about the training exercise failing miserably is like a stone in my gut.

Leo doesn't yell. He doesn't ask where I am, or accuse me of running out in the middle of a training session.

And that night, Raph doesn't come. Raph doesn't want me.

I don't blame him. I wouldn't want me either.

Not with Leo around.

Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

Maybe if Leo leaves again. There's always a chance.

Or if Raph gets tired of him.

No. When Raph gets tired of him.

No. When Raph realizes how much better he had it.

That's it. I haven't seen the last of him. He'll come back.

He always comes back.


	2. Chapter 2

It's been real wonky around here for the past week or so. Ever since me and Don caught Leo and Raph making out.

I'll tell you, I know most people would be weirded out just by seeing one of their brothers making out with someone. But to see two going at it together. Mondo grossout.

Of course I wasn't the only one to see it. Donny did too. But he looked a lot less like he was gonna puke.

And more like he was gonna clobber one of our older brothers.

I flip over on the couch again, trying to find a position to watch tv that doesn't make at least one limb fall asleep. Stupid pins and needles. Poking it just makes it worse.

Someone is moving around the lair and I prop myself up. Master Splinter is making tea in the kitchen and asks if I'd like a cup.

"Nah, I'm good. Yo Master Splinter, have you seen Donatello lately? I wanted to talk with him bout something," I trail off, not sure if Splinter has noticed the tension building between all of us lately.

It's totally driving me bonkers. But then again, that's probably 'cause I'm not part of it.

Once again, little brother Mikey gets left out. Lately I feel like I'm the only one left sitting at the kid's table. What with all my bros going totally emo on me.

"I believe I saw him head to his room after breakfast. He seems somehow distant," Splinter looks in the direction of Don's room, "More so than usual. Perhaps it would do him well to have someone to speak to. Michelangelo."

I smile to father and nod, stretching my sore muscles out and practically falling off the couch as I do. Stupid thing gets more slippery every day. I think its out to get me.

Splinter sits in his chair, and despite his calm enjoyment of his tea I can tell this rift between us is even starting to affect him.

Leo and Raph have been really good about keeping their fun to themselves. In fact that one time me and Don caught them was really the only time we saw anything.

They do train a lot more together lately. Usually alone, in the training room, late at night.

Having the only room on the first floor really sucks sometimes.

I climb up the stairs and knock gently on Don's door.

"Yes?" He calls from inside. He doesn't sound mad, or glad to see me. Just the usual. Someone knocks, he says yes. Someone breaks down his door, he says yes.

If an enormous earthquake were to suddenly suck up our home, I get the feeling that his first reaction would be to say 'Yes?'.

I miss when we all were around. And actually noticed each other.

The door opens with a classic scary movie style squeak. It gives me the willies every time.

"Hey Donny, how's it shakin'?"

"Huh, oh, fine," he replies. He doesn't even lift his head to look at me. Just sits at his desk, surrounded by piles of inventions half finished, and finished, and gutted for the sake of parts for other inventions.

One of these days something is totally gonna come rippin' out of Don's room, and knowing my look I'll get eaten alive by the giant robot monstrosity.

Not that I'm scared of my brother's room or anything. It's just a bit creepy. With the door, and the fact that the only light is a tiny one on the desk that just leaves the piles of techno-crap in the shadows.

I think I have a deep rooted fear of electronics killing me. Too many video games I bet.

Also explains the fear of flaming zombies.

I walk over and lean on my brother's shell, looking over his shoulder at what he's working on. I have no idea what it is.

"Looks cool…"

Donatello smiles up at me, just a quick tiny flash of one, before going back to his work.

That's it. Just that little quick smirk and then back to work. No jokes. No long winded techno-babble explanations.

"I miss you Don," I say, hardly realizing that my thoughts actually voiced themselves.

"I'm right here Mikey," he says in that patronizing tone of his. Leo and Raph may treat me like the baby, but at least they're honest about it. Donny does it in a round-about way.

It really pisses me off.

"You know dude, you're really not. Ever since we saw Leo and Raph together," his shoulders tense under my elbows and it makes me lose my train of thought. As I struggle to gather it back together, Donny seems to be fighting with something as well.

"I've just been busy. So has everyone else—"

"'Cept me. You've been in here every day, working on…er…whatever it is you're working on. Raph and Leo have been with each other all the time, and you _know_ I'm not going anywhere near that…"

Don ignores me this time, going back to his tinkering. I hate being ignored. It really bums me out.

I reach out and spin Don around in his chair, his eyes flying open in surprise as I do.

"Mikey what are you—"

"Look Donny. We need to talk."

Cutting him off worked as I thought it would. His beak snaps shut and he blinks at me in total shock. I'm standing in front of him, and it feels wrong to be taller, so I kneel down instead, until we're close to the same eye level.

My hands are still sitting on the armrests of his spinny chair, and he seems to squirm back and forth, avoiding my arms that are half-encircling him.

"What's going on between us, Don? You haven't talked about what happened last week. And it may have weirded me out, but you, well, you looked…"

Damn. I don't know how to put it.

"Hurt?" He whispers, his voice more raspy than usual. I look up and nod to him, but he's not looking at me. His eyes are staring off at the wall, squeezed together almost in pain.

I fold my legs beneath me, dropping down and releasing my hold on the chair in front of me. It spins a bit, odd since Donny can fix almost anything, but not his slightly off-balance chair.

He sits for a minute, his eyes looking everywhere but at me, before heaving a sigh.

"Sorry I worried you Mikey. It's really nothing," He stands to leave but I jump up and catch his wrist. I won't let him go that easily.

"No. Look Don, I know that," I release him and sit down on the floor again; he hovers next to his chair, obviously torn between going and staying. "I-I know that whatever this is, it doesn't involve me. It's between the three of you. I just…I wanna help anyway, you know?"

Damn. My voice. It sounds so pathetic. I hate it. But I hate being left out even more. Whatever is going on there's gotta be a way that I can help.

There's just gotta.

"Mikey…" Don's voice is soft and he plunks back into his chair. I don't look up at him, too busy making sure that my voice won't crack when I talk, and that there aren't any tears on their way out of my eyes.

I cry all the time. Don't know why it's so important that I don't do it now.

I feel my brother's hand gently rest on my head, rubbing his thumb along my brow. It soothes me, just like it always has, and I relax, letting myself lean into the support of my bro's hand.

It feels nice. Like how things used to be.

"It was Raph."

"Huh?" I look up, my movement dislodging Donny's hand from my head. Aw man. Had to go and ruin the moment.

"He's been…well, we've been…um…"

I don't push him, don't try and rush him. But to see Donny reduced to this stuttering. I mean. He sounds like me for crying out loud.

"The reason I've been moping around is because I'm jealous of Leo. Raph…he picked Leo over me."

Don's head is hanging practically to his chest, and his voice is barely a whisper. It's like he's struggling just to say each word. Crud…I feel terrible now.

Stupid Master Splinter. This is his fault.

"Are you sure Raph knows you're interested? I mean…lets face it, he ain't the sharpest tool in the shed," I say, trying to cheer my brother up. He just lets out a sad little chuckle. It's not happy. Even a little bit. Not at all.

I pat him on his kneepads, trying to reassure him. It doesn't seem to work. He just keeps his head down.

"I wasn't…at first. Not that," he chokes on his words, and his hands clench where they rest on his thighs. He's shaking. My big brother Donatello who always knows what to do, and how to win in every situation, is shuddering. I move my hands to hold onto him and he grabs them fiercely.

After he clears his throat a bit and composes himself he continues.

"Not that Raph cared. It didn't take long until I didn't mind very much. I even was starting to get used to it. Then…"

I give a reassuring squeeze. He's said plenty.

"That explains a lot. I kept seeing Raphael sneaking out of his room. Whenever I was grabbing midnight munchies," I don't really want Don to focus on it, but I just kinda blurted that out without thinking.

I never ever would have thought Don and Raph would have been together. I think I'm shellshocked.

Don looks to be calming down a bit. Hopefully he feels better.

I know I don't. One brother having sex with another is bad enough. But to know that Don was doing the same things too…hey!

"Wait a second…does this mean I'm the only virgin!!"

This time Donny really laughs. It's still got the hoarse sound of his voice having held back all his sobs, but it's a laugh. He wipes the tears off his mask and looks down at me, smiling just a bit. Still sad, but better. I guess.

"Bummer dude."

"Sorry Mikey. You are the baby though," He reaches out and gives me a half-hearted head pat.

"Yeah yeah…that's what everyone keeps telling me," I mutter, and pull myself up onto my knees, getting myself up to eye level with Don, "But look Donny. In all seriousness. If you still got the hots for Raph then fight for him."

Okay, so apparently all I can do now is make him smile that sad little look. I feel like I just kicked a puppy.

"Oh come on Mikey. We both know Leo's the only one Raph's ever seen, or ever going to see."

I look into my brother's big dark eyes, still glossy from holding back tears, and feel something in my chest wrench. I can't stand that look.

I see Donny's face change to something surprised as I lunge up and wrap my arms around his shoulders, hugging him tightly for all I'm worth, my face pressed into his neck.

It takes a second before I feel his hands on my shell, pressing me gently against him, and his chin rests on the top of my head.

This sucks. I'm supposed to be making him feel better. How come it feels like he's helping me now?

"Don't say that Donny. If you want, you could make Raph listen. You're just as good as Leo," my grip tightens and I feel that peculiar tingle across my beak, but I won't cry.

I refuse.

"I know Mikey. But I don't even think I want to fight for him. I mean, I won't lie, it was nice. It felt good, you know, to be wanted. But now it just doesn't seem worth it…"

He brings one hand up and pulls my head from his neck, his thumb resting on my cheek as he looks me in the eyes. I don't know what to do. I wanna make him smile, like always. Or laugh. But I just can't do it…can't act like its normal at a time like this.

"Sorry I made you worry Mikey. I was just moping, you know, after being dumped."

He leans forward a bit and our foreheads lean against each other. Maybe it comes from being four brothers, or from being the only one's of our kind, but just touching one of my brothers calms me down. Makes me relax, doesn't matter what's happening.

"Its all good bro," My voice falls flat, even I can tell. I'm not fooling anyone. How did I not notice? My brother's were going through all of this, and I only barely suspected something was up. What kind of brother am I? "After all, you still got me, the best of the all, and that's all that matters, right?"

Donny nods and chuckles, and my head moves with his. I move my hands from behind his neck to his chin, mimicking him and bracing my thumbs against his cheeks, and my fingers curling beneath his jaw and alongside his neck.

"Did I make ya feel better Don?" Our faces are so close. I can feel his breath. And we're so close I see his eyes flick across my face, eyes to mouth to eyes again. Never staying in one place too long.

"Yeah Mikey. You did…" His thumb rubs along my cheek again, this time brushing onto my beak, before heading back like he didn't notice he had strayed. I shiver.

Despite how close I am to my brothers, I'm rarely this close. Not close enough to feel every breath. How did this happen? I came in here sitting on the floor. Now we're so close.

He does it again, that gently flick of the tip of his thumb, along my lips, along my partially open mouth.

I shut it fast, a little too fast. Too nervously. I know he notices. Donny notices everything.

And I notice that he notices, that this time the thumb stays put. And he notices that I noticed that he noticed my twitch.

Wait a second…what hasn't been noticed by which of us…argh. I've confused myself.

Donny chooses that moment of all to lean in, slightly to the side, and press his lips to my chin.

If he didn't feel my shiver earlier, he felt this one. It's just too weird. Too unexpected. It makes my stomach do flip-flops like when we see Leo and Raph.

It's not bad. It's just that I would never have thought to do this with my brothers. Especially Donny.

He presses a kiss lower, along the side of my neck. I can't help but clench my hands a bit, lowering them down to his shoulders as he moves closer and closer to me.

He pulls back and looks me in the eyes. Don's always had pretty eyes, dark like Raph's. And always busy. Like there's always stuff going on in there.

"Mikey…"

It just hangs there. I know that this is awkward for him. I know that he's probably just rebounding from Raph.

But it's my job to make my brothers feel better. Doesn't matter what's wrong. Doesn't matter how I do it. I can't stand them being upset. It's always been this way.

I lean forward and cautiously nuzzle into my brother's neck. He lets out a choked sigh, which luckily sounds more pleased than sad. I put aside the weird feelings in my chest and very gently kiss Don's neck. As if it was a natural thing to do my tongue darts out for a soft lick, and this time Donny's not sighing. He's gasping.

What's it like for Raph and Leo I wonder? Do they do this with each other? Is it like this?

I don't think so. Not with Raph involved.

Donny's hands become bolder and press against the front of my shell, his fingertips dragging along the edge where my plastron meets my skin.

He knows I'm ticklish, why is he doing that? I squirm a bit on his lap, and my brother stiffens up immediately.

That was totally not on purpose. He shoulda known better than to tickle me.

I get him back though. I lick his neck again, more forcefully, and let my lower teeth drag a bit along his skin. It feels weird. I've never felt my teeth on someone who's alive before. He seems to like it though.

He's breathing a lot harder now than before. Me, well, that weird feeling is still there. But I'm trying to make sure he's happy. The weird feeling can wait.

He takes a hold of the ties of my mask and very gently pulls me from his neck. I don't say anything. For once. If Raph was here I'm sure he'd make a crack about me finally being struck speechless.

Don't other hand, the one not tugging on my mask, is still sitting along the side of my shell, right at my belt. As he pulls my face away he looks me dead square in the eyes.

His left hand breezes right past my belt, his thumb and palm pressing hard against the front of my shell as it dips lower and lower, his fingertips tracing the skin of my hip, to thigh, to the inner part of my thigh before he stops.

Stops moving that is. His hand stays where it is.

I know why he isn't going further. I flinched. My whole body did. As soon as those fingers crossed my belt. Like crossing an invisible line.

This was making Donny happy. I just keep saying it to myself.

"Mikey, why are you doing this?"

An odd question from the turtle that's gripping the crotch of my shell, and pressing his dull fingernails into my sensitive thigh. How does he expect me to answer him with his fingers right there. I can barely keep my hips from pulling away.

Or bucking forward. Not quite sure at this point.

"Am I doing something wrong?" I manage to breath out, moving a bit as I try to adjust to the feeling of someone's hand being there. It's just, weird I guess. Makes me tingly all over. Like when I stand on the edge of a skyscraper, even with ninja training I still get the chills all over when I look down.

Vertigo I think it's called.

"Mikey, do you like me? This way. Do you want this to go further?"

"I-I don't know. It's not…bad," This sounds just like before. What Donny said bout Raph. Is this how it was? How Raph got him to give in? "I'm just trying to help out, you know? It's just…fast…"

That sounded totally lame. And Don removing his hand from my shell doesn't help my opinion on my lameness right now.

He wraps his arms around my neck and pulls me close to his shell though, giving me a noogey in the process.

Ow. Don't know what I did to deserve that…

"Thanks Mikey. For…well, for everything," He grips my shoulders and pulls me up to look at him again. He still looks sad, but better than before. A lot better. "You made me feel better, and you don't have to do something like that again, okay? I don't want you to do that out of obligation or guilt."

I nod, standing up and Don does the same. Feeling spontaneous I jump up again and give him a brotherly bear hug, and I feel a soft chuckle against my shoulder.

Any other time, the hug would have ended by now. But I hold on, just a few seconds longer.

"Maybe its cause I'm the baby, who knows, but when I get over whatever it is that made that seem too fast," I pull back from whispering into Don's ear and see a surprised look on his face, "I won't be doing anything out of guilt, you hear me bro?"

Don opens his mouth; then seems to reconsider. He just nods, and presses his forehead to mine again. Our arms detangle and we separate ourselves.

He gives me one last playful pat on the back of my shell, before stretching his arms out and I can hear his joints popping.

Gross.

"Well, I'm not going to be able to focus now, why don't we go train a bit, hm?" He says, still not smiling, but with a little half-smirk. Which is good enough for me.

"Totally."

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Sorry about the delay on this, FFN was being wonky and wouldn't let me update, even though its been done for a while. Leo and Raph's chapters might take a while, its finals season...but I'll do my best.


	3. Chapter 3

I see Don's foot flying at my head and I duck just in time to avoid getting a shiner. I feel his toes clip the top of one of my katanas.

I sweep his ankles out from under him, but he rolls away from my next punch, giving him the advantage to jump on my back, his arm wrapped around my neck.

"Give?" He says, trying to get a firm footing as I flail around, trying to free myself.

"Not quite," I use my heavier body to roll forward, Donny coming with me since he's still attached to me. He lets out a loud exhale as he lands on his back, me still in his grip on top of him. We struggle for another few seconds before we hear a scream from across the training room.

The sound of Mikey's voice causes Donny to let me go, and I do the honorable thing and get off him. Our youngest brother is running around the training room, with Raph hot on his heels.

"LEO!! Make him stop!!"

Mikey dives between me and Donny, pulling us together in front of him like a pair of sliding doors. Raph skids to a stop and just growls. I don't budge; knowing that if I do Raphael will take it as an invitation to continue pursuing his sparring partner.

"Why do I have to practice with Raph? I bruise easily!"

I carefully extract myself from Mikey, keeping an eye on Raph just in case. He seems to have calmed his temper. For now.

"We all train with each other, Mikey. It's the only way to get better at defending different attack styles," I rub his smooth head and he grins up at me. Then I turn to Raph, "And you, try and remember this is training. We don't need someone to actually get hurt because of something stupid."

As the word 'stupid' leaves my mouth, I feel the nearby presences of Donatello and Michelangelo retreat very quickly. This just happens to coincide with the narrowing of Raph's red masked eyes.

Great. Just what I need to end my day.

"Uh, say Donny, didn't you want to show me that thing with the…uh…thing?"

"Yeah, what he said!" Donny yells, gesturing at Mikey before the two turn tail and flee the training room. I think a couple of the candles by the door actually went out from the speed with which those two ran out of here.

"So, oh fearless one, you think I'm gonna do somethin' stupid, huh?" Raph spread his hands wide, in his typical 'I'm starting a fight now' gesture. I've seen it before. More often than I would have liked. But at least I know to prepare myself.

"Well, what do you expect me to say, when you scare our little brother so much that he's running away from you screaming bloody murder?" I'll see your open armed fighting pose with an arms crossed lecture stance. Ha, take that Raphael.

The hothead snorts, but seems to be giving up. That was…quick. Too quick.

With a quick flick of his arm, he strikes me dead center in my chest and the force sends me back a few feet into the wall of the training area. It wasn't a particularly hard hit, not enough to hurt, but it was meant to get me off guard.

Raph follows up the strike with his kiss. Our front teeth clack, before he seals my lips and his tongue intrudes while I choke out a gasp.

Ack. I've been blitz-kissed.

Our mouths aren't exactly made for kissing, but Raph certainly makes a go of it. His wide tongue presses against mine, having slipped in while I was still surprised from his aggressive action. My hands find their way to his shoulder, holding him still. It feels like if I don't he'll end up pressing me straight through the wall.

As he finally lets up and pulls away from me, I realize we're in the training room, which is currently lit, and the doors are still open to the living room. Anyone could walk in on us. And it's not too late for Splinter to have one of his night tea cravings.

"Raph, cut it out. Not here, someone could see…" He has pressed his chest flat to mine, and is trailing his wet bites down my neck. I manage to push him off for a second, but like a magnet he comes right back, nipping and teasing the other side of my neck.

I'm not in denial. He's driving me crazy and I know it. But I also know if someone walks in on us there'll be hell to pay.

"Quit squirming, will ya?" He breathes against my collarbone, as he grabs my wrists and presses them against the cold stone wall. A shiver goes through me as I feel the cold wall and the heat of my brother's hands at the same time.

"No, look, lets go to your room," He presses one of his knees right along the inside of mine and starts pressing it outwards. I struggle to close my legs, but he has already gotten one knee in between them. The feeling of his kneepad drawing up along the inside of my thigh makes me jerk in his hold. "I said cut it out!"

My voice is loud enough to cause him to freeze and pull back, looking me in the eyes. If it were anyone but Raph I would call the look hurt. But this is my brother. So it's more like a petulant child told that he can't have a new toy.

"Guess you're right, someone might see…" He lets me up and I thankfully pull away from the wall. But his knee stays pressed against my leg, and he doesn't move any further away.

His hand runs along my side, slipping behind to coast up my shell. I don't know if my brothers are like me, but my shell has always been a bit ticklish. Judging by Raph's broad grin I'd have to say he knows exactly how sensitive that particular part of me is. And of course he loves making me squirm.

His hand reaches up to the back of my shoulder and grips one of my katanas, pulling it very slowly out of its sheath. He's still looking at me though, with that stupid toothy grin.

Raph tightens his hold on my katana and swipes out to our side, cutting through the candles sitting there. They fall to the floor and the flames on their tips sputter out as they hit the damp stones. Then he moves just far enough away to slice down the candles on our other side as well.

There are two left lit, across the room by the door. I guess the whirlwind of Mikey and Don missed those.

I hear my sword clatter to the ground, before Raph holds a sai up in front of my face. Without looking he throws it over his shoulder, knocking over the bases of the two remaining lights, and plunging us into a barely lit gloom.

"You know, you're not supposed to touch the candles to—" Two blitz-kisses in one night. Raph must be feeling energetic.

This time he guides us to the floor, kicking my katana and throwing his other sai to the side. We've been together a few weeks now, and realized that weaponry tied to people does not make for good intimate moments.

Unless we intend to use them of course.

"You gonna keep that trap of yours shut now?"

Ah, my dear loving little brother. I reach out and grip his hips, bringing him down closer to me, then running my hands along the insides of his thighs. He loses his ever present grin and instead his eyes soften, and his mouth hangs loosely open. I can see his tongue from here.

Gripping his thighs tightly I push him up and we end up half kneeling and half sitting with each other, our legs tangled uncomfortably under us. But I press forward and slip my tongue in his mouth, startling him out of his daze. As he goes to seal the kiss, I pull away, and lick my lips, giving my brother a suggestive look.

He pushes me back to the ground, this time forcing his whole body between my legs, pressing up and trapping my wrists in his hands, gripping them firmly above my head.

This is how it goes. Doesn't matter where we are, every arena is just a place for Raph and I to compete. If I try and lead us as a team, he has to challenge it. If I form a plan of attack, he has to disagree.

If I try and keep him under me when we're having sex, he has to be on top. It's very frustrating.

Lucky for him, I'm tired from our training. So I'll let him have his fun. For now.

His hands leave mine, and roam across my plastron, letting the tips of his fingers just linger over my shell, brushing against the skin on my sides. I'm ticklish there too. Somehow I think Raphael will one day use this knowledge against me.

I wrap my hand up in my brother's red bandana. Its funny, when we got our bandanas as kids, Raph used to fight with me over that too. He wanted the blue one. But I didn't budge. Along with my choice of katanas, there have been few other times that I've been able to say 'no' to my brother.

Its ironic how attached he has become to the sais he originally cried and complained over being given.

Raph's fingers dig in tightly to the juncture of my thighs and my groin. I make a very undignified meep sound.

Right, focus on the here and now. No getting distracted.

"So jumpy today, Leo?" He practically growl down from above me. I just smile and bring my hands up to play along his shoulders. He's bulkier than any of the rest of us. The strongest, by far.

"Just lots of adrenaline left over I guess…" His fingers massage, right at the topmost part of my inner thigh. It's so…infuriating. I rock back on my shell and press my hips up against Raph's tough hands.

"Getting antsy are we?" That voice of his. That smirking tone of voice, teasing and frustrating and challenging and, and, well, other things.

Not good, losing my ability to think coherently. Keep it together Leonardo.

I feel Raph's finger press up against the inside of my shell, scraping just a little bit with his fingernail.

Farewell coherent thought, I knew thee well.

My legs fall apart, and I know it probably looks horribly indecent, but right now I honestly couldn't care less. Raph's hand quits teasing me and reaches up just that extra bit, and grips me in his hand, pulling me out of my shell.

I wrap his bandana tighter around my fingers, until they start to hurt from where the soft fabric is wound too tight, trying to distract myself. Giving in to Raph will never be easy. Even here and now, I want to fight. I want to prove myself to him. But instead I let him lead.

He presses harder around me, pulling with soft slow strokes that practically make me say something. Stop, harder. I haven't really decided yet but those two keep coming up again and again.

"Raph…" That's not what I wanted to say. Luckily it's a gruff exhale, barely distinguishable as his name. But he looks up, meeting my eyes even as his hand continues to pump and press, alternating and making my toes curl and clench, finding purchase along the shell of his back.

He stops, and I pause, hearing only my panting breath in the quiet of the training room. I try and stop it, try and calm my lungs, not wanting to make any unnecessary noise. Someone could still be awake.

"What's wrong Leo, thought you were our 'fearless leader'?" Raph says, making little quotes in the air as he leans back a little bit. I see him patting his belt, looking for something.

"I never…" My breathing still isn't normal. I can keep from panting, that's not difficult. but trying to talk and keep from gasping in huge breaths of air isn't as simple. There just doesn't seem to be enough breath in me to do both. "Called myself that."

If he hears me, he doesn't respond. But I see his fingers withdraw from the side of his belt, with a very small jug in his hand. He uncorks it, and pours the oil inside onto his fingers.

"Stole it from the cabinet upstairs…" He whispers out, before returning his hand between my legs, deeper and further then where it had gone before. I jerk up as his fingers brush against me, slick and warm, smeering and sliding along my skin.

"When did you start carrying oil around with you…" He finds my entrance quickly enough, and now I tighten my toes against the rim of his shell, and I release his bandana. I don't want to accidentally wrench his neck with my pulling. His shoulders though, I should be fine using those to hang on to.

"Ease up Leo," He presses a kiss to the side of my jaw, and I try to do like he says. I know it helps, but still when he presses that one finger against me I clench my eyes shut and snort heavily out of my nose, trying to relax. Relax. Relax. I just need to relax.

His free hand massages my inner thigh, but that just makes my hips buck and my whole body tighten up again.

Raph presses his finger further into me and I can't keep myself from the small chocked sound that escapes. He stops, to my surprise.

"Your…fingers are too fat…" I say, smirking up at him with a challenge on my face. He hates when I call him fat.

He doesn't move on though, but instead pulls very slowly out, his finger having barely gotten past the tip. I'm surprised when his hand grips me by the back of my neck and pulls me up till I'm sitting, eye to eye with him again.

"Then use yours. They're smaller," He presses the small jug into my hand. I shoot him a questioning glance, but he just meets it levelly, not flinching. The only thing betraying my brother's arousal is the small up and down motions his shoulders make, as he also tries to keep from panting aloud. He leans forward and presses a wet open mouthed kiss against my throat, following it with a scrape of his teeth. "Plus," he mutters against my skin, "You're not half bad at it."

I've never really been sure if I blush. I've never been near a mirror when I feel my face flush hot, but if I do blush, I'm probably a really interesting shade right now.

Raph doesn't give compliments. Ever. So of course I have to savor and appreciate every one, even if it's hushed and whispered, barely even there, and something I'll never be able to brag about.

He pulls his legs under himself, his knees pointing out to the sides, as if he were about to meditate, or get scolded as was more likely in Raph's case. He keeps watching me, waiting for me to get on with it; meanwhile his hands have snuck down between his own legs.

I think I just gulped. Yeah, I'm pretty sure what I just did qualifies as a gulp.

I lean back a bit, finding a comfortable position, and spread more oil over my fingers, pressing them quickly against myself, ready to get going. More so as I watch Raph free himself from within his shell and give his length a nice long stroke, the whole time smiling at me.

It's at times like these that I realize that me and my brother are really not normal. And not for the most obvious reasons. Even at a time like this, his face just screams that this is a competition for him. He's already in the lead, and he knows he won't be letting up any time soon.

I know Raphael. I know it's the power rushes that get him hard fastest. But its not only Raph that I know about. I know myself. It's always been this way, ever since we were kids. I'll try just about anything to make my little brother happy.

My fingers are smaller than Raphael's, though not because he's fat like I joke. He just bigger and stockier built than I am. Even though I'm a little taller. Though he'll deny that fact to the day he dies. The tip of my finger is already inside myself, and I can hear a rhythmic grunting from Raph. I don't look up at him. Too tempting.

This is better anyway. I will actually stop and slow down when I need to. Raph is many things, but patient is not one of them. Frankly, the fact that he hasn't forced himself on me yet is a bit of a surprise.

I feel the slickness inside of me, as my finger meets less and less resistance and my own arousal starts to ebb. Though I know that won't be for long. A second finger and I know I'm getting stretched more than I ever do when Raph is the one doing this.

My only warning is a slight scuffling of leathery feet against worn wood floors. Then Raph's lips are on the inside of my knees, a warning in the guise of a kiss.

His hands pull my interrupted hand away and pins it to the side, as he replaces my fingers with little more than a slick sound of his skin against mine, and the clicking of our shells against one another.

A true ninja indeed.

He hisses through his teeth as he pushes into me slowly. My fingers scrabble on the floor. It's harder to find a good grip here compared to his bed. Or mine.

But he holds me still enough with his weight as he braces against me, slowly pressing in, then out, always as quiet as he was when he started. Pillow talk isn't in Raph's repertoire, nor mine. We've said enough to each other over the course of our lives. Now's not a time for idle chatter.

He finally presses into me fully and I thrust up to meet him. Have to match him. Have to keep up. Even if I am beneath him, it doesn't mean he has all the control here.

After all, I'm still better than him.

All the way inside me and he hits a spot that takes my breath away. My foot kicks out and I smack my heel against his shell, but I don't care. His fingers wrap around me again, secondary to the feeling of him hot and so very forceful inside me. Our pants and gasps are finally finding their place in all of this, even the best of ninja training failing us now.

His head dips down, and I know by now that this means he's about to finish. His fisting speeds and tightens, and I feel a shudder run along my spine as my hips oscillate up and down, bringing him along with me.

There's no loud shouts. No mumbling each other's names. Raph is silent as his body slips down against mine, our plastrons clanking against each other as he slowly draws out of me and rolls over onto his back.

We're sticky and gross, but sated for now. I undo one of my wrist wraps and use it to clean off the mess on my skin and shell, before reaching over and doing the same to Raph. He lets out a very un-Raphael sounding sigh of contentment, but there's a sadness on his face I'm not used to seeing.

"Something wrong?" I ask as I stand on still wobbly legs, extending a hand to help my little brother up. He struggles a bit as well, but we're still teenagers, we bounce right back.

More or less.

"Nothing…" He mutters, pulling my back against his chest as he embraces me for just a second, then letting me go slowly from his arms, as he heads over to the other side of the training room, collecting his sais. He hands me my katanas and I sheathe them as usual, but I don't let his odd reactions go so easily.

"Raph, if something's bugging you, you know you can tell me."

Seems a bit of an overstatement, considering what we just did on the training room floor, to ask him to put his trust in me.

"Look, its nothing. It's just…this is…" He struggles and is frustrated, I can see it in the way he clenches his hands, and nervously adjusts his bandana. He throws his hands up and takes a few steps. He stops at the door though. "You were gone for a long time Leo, and you've barely been back. How do ya know this'll work? We've changed so much, you may not even know me anymore…"

I walk up to Raphael and put a hand on his shoulder. He reaches up and covers it with his own for a second. Then he slowly pulls away and walks through the door.

"I'm going to go rinse off real quick. I'll call you when the shower's free," I see him nod at me and give me a quick wave over his shoulder, before plopping down on the floor in front of the tv, his back pressed against the couch.

He doesn't do it to save the couch from attaining yet another stain along with its current mosaic of stains. Only Mikey seems to have mastered the ability of sitting on that off-balance monstrosity without falling off and breaking something. The rest of us have too much pride to even try anymore, when someone else is around to see us fall on our asses.

I open the door that leads from the living room of the lair down the short corridor to our very small bathroom. It squeaks a little and a flinch, pausing with baited breath to listen for any of the rest of the family to come by while I'm still quite literally a mess from what Raphael and I have just done. But I don't hear anything and decide it would be better to leave it open a crack, so I can avoid the loud squeak on my way back.

The water is barely lukewarm, and being a reptile this is not a pleasant way to shower. My body is still hot from before, but the heat is being stripped from me by the cool water. At least I'm not sticky though. Another advantage of being a reptile is not having to deal with washing hair.

The rinse down took only five minutes, at most, and I step out of the stall and take a towel from the wall. It's blue, of course. After drying off I tie my remaining wrist band on, and return my kneepads and elbow pads and mask to their usual places.

Feeling much steadier on my legs…and immensely less sticky, I head back to the lair.

Huh, someone is talking. I can hear two voices inside. Alright, so I'm a bit snoopy. I'll admit it.

I love being a ninja. I creep up to the heavy door still sitting open a crack, and crouch nearby, leaning in just enough that I can clearly hear what's going on.

It's Mikey and Raph. And they're pretty animated.

"I'm just saying dude—" Mikey hisses, obviously trying to keep quiet and not attract any attention.

Fat chance. No one can argue with Raph and keep it quiet.

"I know what you're saying! And I'm saying you better mind your own damn business. Back off, Mikey…" He snaps and growls at our youngest brother. I have to wonder what these two are arguing about.

It doesn't sound like they're going to need me to break it up, so it can't hurt to listen a little longer.

"Hey man, he's my brother too. Don may have bounced back pretty well, considering what you did to him, but Leo'll crack. You know he will. I'll mind my business, but if you hurt him like Donny…well, I can't think of anything I could do to you right now, but it would be bad, alright?" Mikey's voice moves around the lair and I ease farther back from the opening, catches a glimpse of him as he turns and goes up the main staircase

Mikey's room is on the first floor. The only one down here. Guess he's gone up to talk to Donatello. I can hear Raph muttering and cursing about what Mikey said as he sits on the couch, his head hanging down to rest on his hands.

I don't even know what to think about what I heard. Raph did something to Donny. I run over all I've seen go on between the two of them since I've been home. But nothing. No threats, no fights, just the usual stuff.

Mikey sounded upset. Really upset. Far beyond just being frustrated by one of Raph's usual temper tantrums. His voice was squeaky…that only happens when he's really worried, or really mad.

Probably both.

I take a few silent steps back from the door, before walking through at a regular pace, letting the squeaky down swing open. The sound catches Raphael's attention and he looks up at me, an expression I've rarely seen on his face shifting into something more neutral. Something less damning.

But it's too late, and I've already heard the conversation. Add into that Mikey's response, and Raph's expression, I know something is going on between my brothers. And I need to find out.

I don't know if it comes instinctually because I'm the eldest, or because I'm the leader of our little group, but I've always been protective of my brothers. I would do anything for them. And I would also go to any lengths to bring retribution for anyone who dares to hurt one of them.

I love Raphael. As a lover, and as one of my brothers. But if he's hurt Donny…

"Shower's free. I left you some hot water," I say as I walk up and pat him on the arm, as if nothing is amiss. He nods at me, that slow silence still hanging about him.

He's guilty. I don't know the charge quite yet, but I know that much.

"Thanks Leo," He says, standing up and brushing past me on his way back out the door I'd just come in. He pauses though, "Leo."

I turn to the call of my name. He's standing there, struggling. I can see it all across his face. If nothing else can be said about Raphael it's this, he wears his heart on his sleeve. And his eyes. And just about everywhere else.

Stoicism thy name is not Raphael.

"Nothing. Never mind. We can talk about it tomorrow."

With that he leaves, and as I hear him continue down the sewer pipe to our bathroom, I turn and hurry upstairs. Raph likes long showers, compared to the rest of us, but it still doesn't give me very much time.

I reach Don's door and hear voices inside. So that is where Mikey went. I knock on the door and the voices still into silence.

"Who is it?" Mikey calls out in a singsong voice.

"Leo," I wait anxiously for a second before Don's voice calls out that I can come in. There's shuffling about inside.

I open Donny's door and ease myself into the room. It's cluttered across all sides, mounds of technology piled up and creeping towards the only clear spot in the room, the center where my brother's desk is, and his futon lying close by. It's as if his inventions are biding their time, staved off by the light on his computer desk, before they eventually attack.

I've never been much for science and technology, and sometimes, if I'm honest with myself, Donny's room gives me the creeps.

"Sup Leo! So who won?" Mikey says, leaning on Donny's desk. The brother I came to see sits in his swivel chair, picking at a small clump on wires.

"Huh?"

"You and Raph. He looked like he was totally gonna go at it with you when we left. So, did ya pummel him?" He grins maniacally.

"No, we just sparred a bit more."

And had thoroughly enjoyable and tiring sex on the floor of the training room.

I clear my throat a bit to get their attention. It's a bad habit I have.

"Mikey, I need to talk to Donny about something in private, okay?"

For the first time since I entered the room, Donatello looks at me. Then he looks to Mikey. Something passes between the two of them. Fear. Or maybe not that strong, but certainly hesitance.

So its true, Raphael really did do something. And they know it.

After a second of looking at each other, Mikey places his hand on Don's shoulder. Donny covers the hand with his own and squeezes it, giving our youngest brother an almost imperceptible nod.

"Sure thing man. If you need me I'll be watching TV till I pass out."

He walks out with a quick wave of his hand, but leaves the door open a bit when he's gone.

I walk over and close it firmly, before turning and approaching Donny. To my surprise, he beats me to the punch.

"Did Raph say something to you?"

His voice is quiet and resigned. He's obviously been expecting this for a while.

God, what could Raphael have done to make Donny react to me like this? He's looking at me like I'm his jailer, come to pronounce his sentence and lock him away.

And he's resigned himself to my decision, I can see it in the level gaze he has. That's what disturbs me the most.

"I overheard Mikey talking to Raphael."

I wish he had another chair in here somewhere. Instead I shift between my left foot and my right, trying not to betray the anxiousness I feel.

"Look Leo, it was nothing really. It's fine. I'm over it. Forgive and forget, right?" He says, a sad little smile on his face.

"No Donny. When I overheard them talking, Mikey sounded…well it sounded like Raph did something really bad to you. I want to know what happened. I want to help."

He just stares at me with this totally flabbergasted expression. That's weird.

"Wait just a second Leo. What exactly did you hear them say?"

How did I end up answering questions? This seems terribly backwards.

"Michelangelo was threatening Raph, that if he did to me whatever he did to you, that he'd make Raph sorry. I…I guess I really didn't hear that much. But look, I need you to tell me what it was that Raphael did."

Donny's face slackens again, settling into that same blank expression as before. He just shakes his head and smirks sullenly, turning around in his chair to go back to his bundle of wires.

"It's nothing Leo. Just drop it alright." His voice is flat.

Something happened. I won't just go without getting my answers.

"I will not 'drop it' Donatello," I storm up to his desk and stand on the opposite side, glaring him down till he looks at me. "I'm in charge of this team, and as a leader I can't have dissention in the ranks."

I catch myself using my general voice, as Mikey calls it. I pull back and soften my voice, trying to calm myself and think of my brother's well being.

"If Raph did something, I need to know. Especially if there's a risk that he'll do it again."

Donny's eyes flick away from mine. He's acting strangely. Why won't he just answer me?

"It doesn't matter, okay? It happened while you were gone, it's over now. No harm no foul," He mutters under his breath, poking at the wires on his desk a little more fiercely than before.

"Just tell me what he did…" I hate that whiny tone in my voice that shows up when my brothers don't listen to me when all I'm doing is trying to help.

His black eyes flick up to me, his bandana creasing as he glares at me, his eyebrow ridges drawing together. Maybe I'll finally get an answer.

I see his hands clench and unclench. He's really struggling with this.

"Come on Donny. I can't help you if I don't know," I plead again, reaching out and putting my hand on my brother's shoulder. He smacks it away.

Okay. That's a little bit weird. I keep from reacting by punching him back. Any other time that would have been what we'd do. But I think that wouldn't help my cause right about now.

"Fine Leo. But remember, I'm over it. Everyone has moved on and is fine," He looks away again, a sneer on his lips, "Plus, none of it would have happened if you hadn't been gone so long in the first place."

"What?"

What does this have to do with me? I didn't do anything to anyone. I'm just trying to make things better. Why can my brothers never just take that for what it is?

"Tell me, fearless leader, did the thought never occur to you that Raphael is rather good at what he does?" Donny stands up on his side of the desk, pressing his palms down and leaning in as he speaks in a harsh whisper.

I don't follow. I open my mouth to ask what he means, but Don just shakes his head and I find the question chained up in my chest. It won't come out.

"I'm only telling you this because you made me. And I guess, well, I guess it's not right that Raphael didn't tell you anyway," He pauses a minute, making sure he has my full and complete attention. I can't help but notice that the light from his desk shining up on his face casts shadows upwards, and makes him look harsher than usual.

Why can't I speak? The words die before they even come out. I just stand, stuck perfectly still to the same place on the other side of the desk. I don't even shift my weight from foot to foot like I'm accustomed to.

"Leo, you weren't Raph's first. I always knew that he loved you the most of us all, but somehow I though that maybe I'd found a way that I was better than you. A reason for Raph to prefer me over you. And he did…for a while."

I don't…I don't want to know this. I want to take this back. Make it go away. Why? Why is he telling me this?

I changed my mind. Why didn't I mind my own business?

"You came back, he left. He picked you over me. Not that it was a very big surprise. But look Leo, I'm over him alright. There's no grudge or anything like that. I'd rather just forget about it."

I feel like I might puke. He just dumped him like that? Because I came back. It's my fault. Why is the cause of everything Raphael does have to be me?

I look up at Donatello, and see the defeated look in his eyes. He's doing it again. Thinking he's not as good as the rest of us. Me in particular. I hate that look.

My fist flies and crashes into Donny's jaw, enough to send him to the floor out of surprise. His chair falls over and the dual crashes echo around us.

I can feel my arms shaking. Can feel my hand clenched at my side. My knuckles don't hurt, but I can feel where I struck the blow. I didn't hit too hard.

"What the hell was that for?" Donny yells up at me, rubbing at the corner of his mouth where a little bit of blood has dripped out. He spits the rest out of his mouth. His tooth must have cut him.

When he looks up at me though, his anger drains out of his face.

"Leo…"

I can't move. I just…I just don't. Don't want to, can't. I'm not sure which.

I feel Donny come up to me and wrap his arms around my shoulders. The hug is brief before he pulls back and wipes the tears that dripped down my mask. He doesn't say anything about them. Doesn't try and pull my head to his shoulder for a good cry.

We both know those are as many tears as there will be.

"Why didn't you say something? Why did you let me take him from you?"

I'm proud that my voice manages not to crack. It's hoarser than usual. But I don't sound like I'm about to lose it. Hopefully that means I'm not about to.

"Come on Leo. It's over. It doesn't matter. Raph chose you. You're who he wants. It's not like I loved him or something." He lets me go, but stands close.

I feel bad. His jaw is starting to puff up. It won't be anything worse than what we're used to, but still.

"If you had, would you have fought for him?"

Donatello just stands there, thinking. He seems to really be considering his answer. I hope he isn't worried that I'll punch him again.

"If I did love him, I probably would have. Which I guess is how I know I really don't have any of those kinds of feelings for him, right?"

This time I pull my younger brother to me for a brief hug, still feeling like crap and needing some comfort. Donny pats my shell and pulls away, giving me a sad smile.

"Sorry you had to find out this way."

"Sorry I punched you."

He shrugs and grins a bit, and I feel a weight off of me. I still don't know where I'm going to go from here. Raphael…I don't know what to do with him. It's so surreal, not half an hour ago we were on the training floor.

Now the thought makes me sick. Donny was with Raph even though he didn't love him. It doesn't take someone as smart as my brother to figure out that Raph must have started it all.

I pat my bro on the shoulder once, and he seems content with this parting. Picking his toppled chair back up and sitting down at his desk again. I cross his room in a few strides, but I stop when I hear him clear his throat.

I guess we all do that.

"If it were Mikey, I'd have fought…" He whispers quietly, before adjusting his light again and going back to his invention.

I nod and walk over to the door, opening it and hearing a loud yelp as soon as I do.

Mikey falls to my feet, landing with a thud and a groan. But what really surprises me is Raphael toppling over onto him shortly after. The two scramble guiltily and stand up. Mikey just grins at me sheepishly before his eyes flick between me and Raphael.

He quickly darts inside and over to Donatello, who gives him a patronizing smile.

Raph meanwhile, he just stands there. In the doorway. In my way.

I push past him and he grabs my wrist.

"Let go of my arm, Raph." I pull away and he actually lets me.

"Leo—"

"No Raphael." And I walk back down the stairs to my room. Closing the door swiftly and quietly behind me.

I step back a second later and lock it.

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Each chapter…getting longer. I apologize for the smut. I know I'm not very good at writing sex scenes, so please forgive me. Hopefully you like the rest of the chapter…

So yeah, only one left now is Raphael. He gets to tie up the story. During exam time…er…might be a while before I finish this. But don't worry, its coming.

Please leave me comments how you feel about the story.


	4. Chapter 4

One of the weird things about living underground is that you never really know what time is it. There's no light, especially not in my room.

Damn. It must be morning. I flip over in my hammock and fling my arm to the side. I can feel my fingers graze against the floor. Feels kinda gross. Sticky for some reason. Maybe I should clean sometime soon.

The rocking of my hammock is almost soothing enough to make me want to go back to sleep. But it's too late and I'm awake for the day now. Can't just dig myself under my blanket and hope that I never have to face the others. Much as I might want to.

"Hey Raph, Splinter says its time to get up!" Mikey yells through the door as he knocks loudly on it.

"Go away!" I try to shout, but just end up yelling into my pillow. The muffled yell seems to be enough to satisfy my brother for the moment.

Shit. I don't wanna go out there.

The thought of pulling my blanket up over my head and refusing to leave my hammock is so very tempting. My door clicks open and I let out an irritated sigh.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm up, Mikey."

He steps into the dim room and shuts the door behind him, very softly. Obviously he's not too keen on letting anyone know he's in here. His eyes shift around the room nervously from within his orange bandanna.

Seeming to come to a decision he finally meets my eyes, and there's a strong resolve in them I don't usually see within Mike's. Leo it looks normal on. But not our little brother.

Leo. Damn.

"Listen Raph…I just wanted to talk to you, you know, before we got training," He says as he approaches, slow and careful like.

"You mean before we're around the others."

It's not a question, but Mikey nods an enthusiastic 'yes' motion anyway. I sigh again and stand up from my hammock, feeling part of my foot is still asleep. I shake it around, feeling pins and needles crawl along my skin.

Worst part about hammocks is that body parts are always fallin asleep. I see Mikey's shadow as he comes to stand right in front of me and the back of my neck prickles. It's almost like he wants to start a fight.

"Raph…" His voice is too soft. Too unsure. Not like Mikey at all. "Why'd you have to start all of this, man? It's too weird."

If it weren't for the fact that this is Mikey talkin to me now, he'd probably be on the floor nursing a fat lip. Instead I just clench my fists and stand up, hovering my few inches over my brother. He stands up to me, which makes me proud of course, and furious all at the same time.

"So somehow this is all my fault?" I growl and can feel my dull fingernails pressing against my palm. If I squeeze my hand any more I'll make myself bleed.

"Dude…yeah. You hurt Don and now Leo's so pissed he's running us all ragged," He pokes me in the chest and my growl seems to go unnoticed. I hate when my threats are ignored.

"I apologized alright! What the hell else do you expect me to do? If Leo's gonna keep being a stubborn asshole about this than that's his decision!"

And here we go. A staring contest has begun. This always happens with me and Mikey. And he doesn't look like he's gonna back down any time soon.

"Fix it," Mikey says as he pokes me in the chest again. Then he turns around and leaves my room. That's all I needed to start off my day. My littlest brother lecturing me on how to treat the rest of our siblings.

God, I really screwed this all up.

Mike's right.

I grab my bandanna from where it hangs on the side of the bed and press it snug against my face. Tying the string in the back used to be so tough. Now it just seems natural.

Right. Ready to go. Gotta leave my room eventually.

The door is right in front of me. It's not that tough. I can take this door. It's already kinda open. There's half the battle right there.

I hear the sound of Donny's voice. Laughing. And Mikey and Leo joining in too.

You know, just cause a door's open doesn't mean you have to walk through it.

"Raphael!"

My father's voice cuts through my indecision and I walk out, trying to settle my frazzled nerves and appear calm and collected all at once. I look downstairs and see my family sitting around the table. With a short leap I land near them. Nice thing about being a ninja, you never need to take the stairs. Sensei is sitting at the head of the table, which has fallen silent since I walked out.

Fan-freakin-tastic.

"Raphael, you have made us wait for you at breakfast for three days now…" Father stands up and brushes his hand across my forehead, feeling for a fever. I pull away slowly, not to insult my father, but just so that I can sit down.

The three sets of banded eyes aren't exactly welcoming.

"Now my sons, I know that there is something that is bothering you all. It does not take a ninja master to see it in your faces."

I see Donny and the others hang their heads out of the corner of my eye. I'm hanging mine too of course. I can't look Splinter in the eyes, not now. Like Mikey said, I'm the cause of all this.

"Which of you is prepared to tell me what's going on?" His voice is still soft, not commanding and angry. Yet.

"Everything is fine Master Splinter," Leo says, with a curt and quiet voice. We all know he's lying. Master Splinter included. The fact that Leo would lie is a sign for our father to back off.

With a heavy sigh he stands by the table and takes his walking staff in hand, leaving the kitchen.

"Until you four work out your problems, or decide to reveal them to me, you are all grounded."

The torrent of confused and angry retorts is ceased as soon as Splinter turns around, his eyes harsher than usual. We all shut up, our indignant cries echoing out of the lair, leaving us to fend for ourselves in the small confines of our home.

The kitchen remains in silence until Splinter slides his door closed. I hear the nervous scuffling of a foot under the table and have to assume its Mikey's.

Shit. This is awkward. My brothers all look straight at me. Why don't they just point out their fingers and yell "he did it!"? It'd save them all this glaring time.

"Well," Donny starts to say something, but I stand up. My chair screeches from the force that I've pushed it away from the table. I head for the stairs, but it's my older brother's voice that makes me pause.

"Raphael. Sit back down."

"Oh, I see how it is, oh fearless one. You give me the silent treatment till Splinter says ya gotta talk to me. Well, sucks for you, I'm outta here," I turn and head up the stairs, barely hearing the sounds of one of my brothers following me.

"Wait up Raph!" Mikey yells as he chases me up the stairs and into my room. I could slam the door right now in his face. But it's Mikey. I can't do that.

He stands there in my doorway, holding the door open.

"Go away Mikey."

"Come on man. We have to figure this out. Unless you wanna be stuck here until Splinter lets us out?" He's got that kicked puppy expression. I hate the damn thing. It's the only thing that can really work with me.

Stupid little brothers.

"Why are you talking to me anyway? Leo's the one with the stick up his ass. He stopped talking to me, not the other way around," I resist the overwhelming urge to pout. I am Raphael. Raphael does not pout.

Even when the turtle he thought he may have possibly been in love with is giving him the silent treatment for the fourth day straight. Although if I was to pout, I think this'd be the one time it could be okay.

"Look Raph, I'm trying to be nice about this. I could just sit around out there with Don and Leo and leave you on your own. You do realize that as of now everybody hates you, right?"

Uh, yeah Mikey, I kinda got that feeling. But thanks for spelling it out for me.

"I don't see why everyone's makin such a big deal outta this," I grumble, pacing back and forth in front of my hammock. Standing still right now just ain't an option. Too much energy. Angry energy, but it's still enough to keep me from staying in the same place for more than a minute.

"How can you say that?" His voice is harsher and sadder than I'm used to. It actually manages to get me to pause in my pacing.

Just for a second. He continues on though.

"Ever since this all started, our family just isn't the same. Everything's different. No one is happy with each other. You can't pretend you haven't noticed the weirdness dude," He says and reaches a hand out, slowly and carefully. When he claps it down on my shoulder though, I feel myself relax. Whether I want to or not.

Being on my guard around Mikey just doesn't feel natural.

All this pacing catches up to me in a rush and I feel exhausted. I sit down in my hammock…well, I really more plop myself down in my hammock. Either way, I'm sitting, and Mikey sits next to me, keeping that hand just barely on my shoulder. No pressure.

"I screwed up bigger than usual this time, didn't I?" God I hate my voice. It's all small and choked. It's not very Raph-like. I need to sound tough. 'Specially for Mikey.

"I'd say you did," A new voice intrudes from the door, which was left open and had only closed as much as it had under its own force. Just kinda drifted there, leaving Donny half covered as he just stood, looking oddly relaxed.

Hm…guess that burning in my gut is guilt over seeing Don. I don't say anything to give him permission to come in, just nod at him, barely moving my head. But he gets the idea and comes in to join the party, walking over and sitting on my other side.

"Why do I feel like this is an intervention?" I say with a small chuckle as I look from a purple banded little brother to an orange one.

At least they're both still smiling. Even if it's a sad, kind of reserved smile.

"Maybe this is an intervention, Raph. We want things to be how they used to…" Don kinda trails off, looking off towards my suddenly interesting floor. I wonder if he noticed how sticky it is. Maybe I can ask him later to help me mop up the place.

"What Donny means to say is, you were the reason this all got screwed up," I glare at Mikey, but he puts up a hand and I hold back my angry retort, "But despite that, we wanna help you. We want everyone happy again. Right bro?"

I look to Don who nods and places a hand on my shoulder. For whatever reason, I feel like Donatello is the most at peace out of all of us right now.

"I understand why you did it Raph. Heck, we all know you've been obsessed with Leo since we were kids," He smiles, and this time it's just a little bit less sad.

Course I feel like crap now. But at least my brother sees some kinda amusement in all this.

"I still don't understand…" Mikey grumbles.

"Mikey, I told you-" Don begins but I cut him off.

"Fine Mike. You don't understand why I did it? Fine by me. You got a better solution? Huh? Would you have liked me to stay with Don even…" I stop talking. Damn. I've already said too much. How does Mikey always know how to push me into doing things?

It's silent for a second. My two interveners seem struck by my outburst. We've known nothing but each other almost our whole lives. How can they still be surprised that I can't keep my trap shut about stuff?

"Even though you really love Leo?" Don says quietly, leaning over to get a better look at me. I look away, and find myself facing an even closer Michelangelo.

"Gah…" I pull back and my brothers flinch too. But there's something in their expressions now. Pity? Gimme a break. Ah well, let them pity who they want. Doesn't make a difference to me.

"Wow Raph. Didn't think you'd ever be so…sappy."

Mikey ducks my usual slap to the back of his head. I'd try again, but that exhaustion from earlier is back. Even though I just woke up.

"I sort of got the feeling that was the reason you left. But just so you know, I don't mind," Don says. I look up at him with a hardly believing look. He just chuckles. "Oh come on Raph. You and I can barely stand hanging out together for more than a few hours. Do you honestly think we could have had a normal relationship?"

"Oh yeah, and me and Leo are bff's," I say in my best valley girl impersonation. Mikey giggles next to me, and it may be that tiny little passing gesture that really makes me feel better.

"Well dude, they do say opposites attract? Plus you always choose each other to go out patrolling with, and team up with each other the most when we go into fights."

Oh God. Something must be wrong with me. Mikey is actually making sense.

There's a quiet minute where we all seem to be content. Mikey has made a point. Don has forgiven me. And me? Well…I'm no longer hated by two of my brothers.

Just that damn third one to deal with. Apparently what I did isn't enough to be angry over for too long, since Don, the one I frickin dumped for no reason has already forgiven me.

Mikey jumps off the hammock when I slam my fist into the wall behind us. Don just leans away a bit, not as jumpy as our youngest brother.

"Geez Raph. The poor wall. It was an innocent. I mean…unless you lied to it too. Didja lie to the wall Raph?" My youngest brother rambles almost incoherently. Don just shushes him and he listens.

Like me and Leo. Now that he's pointed it out, I realize that Don and Mike have always been together. Even when we were little, and all spent our time together, if we played a game those two were a team. Guess it's just natural to fragment ourselves.

"Well. Good to know we've at least got some things cleared up, right?" Don stands up and walks in front of me, him and Mikey standing barely a hair's breadth away from touching each other. "Now all you need to do is talk to Leo."

"Hmph. That's gonna be a bit tough, in case you haven't noticed, since old fearless leader has been givin me the silent treatment for a few days now," I snort angrily, giving the wall another quick slam.

We all sit in silence, thinking. I know I'm thinking about how pissed I am at Leo. First I have Donny and everything's fine. Not perfect, but good.

Then Leonardo has to come back and screw everything up. So then I have Leo, but I've pissed off Don.

Okay, granted, I could have dealt with leaving Donatello better than I did. Right. That's my fault. But still, if Leo had never left in the first place, I wouldn't have been with Don to end up hurting him.

"Well, I guess we could go try and convince him to come up here and talk to you? Since we're grounded anyway, not like he's got anywhere else to go."

"Guess that's the only logical way of doing this. Well Raph, what do you think about Mike's plan?" Don looks to be smiling again. Only, not as reserved as before. And he's definitely not looking at me. His eyes are doing that weird corner thingy towards Mike.

Hm.

"You two are the ones runnin this intervention. Do I even have a choice?"

"No," The two chorused at once. Right. That's what I thought.

"Okay, go get him then. Let's get this over with already. Either we'll make up or one of us will end up the other's pin cushion for the night."

The two trade worried glances, but I doubt they really think me and Leo will come to blows. Not again. Not after what happened the last time on the roof.

I'm not sure I'll ever be able to fight Leo at full strength ever again after that. Not after seeing that look in his eyes when I beat him.

Maybe everything that's happened since then was just because of my guilt. Almost kill my brother, then make it up by screwin his brains out every chance I get. Yeah. That sounds about right.

And let him screw my brains out a few times too. If I'm honest with myself, I can't say it was a bad thing letting him be the leader a few times. Actually follow orders for once.

I realize I had zoned out and am sitting on my hammock all alone in my room now. It's still early, but it feels dark and foreboding in my room. Must be in my head.

Sitting still just ain't gonna cut it right now so I stand up and start pacing. There's this incessant gnawing in my gut, the anxiousness of what's to come. I just wish it were over. Whether it ends with me and Leo all happy, and most likely hot and bothered, or beaten black and blue.

It's the getting past it part I'm worried about. I'm not that great at talking my way through things. Botching it up is really more my specialty.

That odd feeling of wanting to just huddle down and hyperventilate comes over me. I guess it might be a panic attack. I don't know, cause I never let myself get to that point. Spinning around I land a kick to the thick bamboo post that holds up one half of my hammock.

The swift shock of skin and the sting that follows brings me that tranquility I so desperately needed.

Had I not heard footsteps coming down the hall to my room I would have done more to the innocent hammock pole. Instead I just kinda stand here for a minute. The steps stop outside my door, and he knocks rather harshly.

Obviously Leo didn't realize the door wasn't fully closed as it swings open and leaves his hand knocking in midair. Way to go big bro.

"Hey-" I start to say, but Leo can't even let me get out so much as a civil hello.

"Look, Don and Mikey forced me to come up here, so let's get this over with."

I don't know if I've ever heard that particular snarl in Leonardo's voice. Ever. He's really pissed more than I would have expected.

"They wouldn't have had to force ya if you'd have stopped being a baby about this."

Oh great. That probably wasn't a great plan. Way to go Raphael, you've done it again.

Leo just glares at me. Those eyes can be really intense when he's in a bad mood. Being his punching bag and vice versa for so many years has taught me things like that.

"You know Raph…" He just stops. His voice doesn't choke up or anything, not an emotion leaking out. He just looks fed up with me.

"Do you really think giving me the silent treatment is going to solve this?" As I ask him, he slowly comes inside and shuts the door behind him. The room goes even darker, with just a lamp in the corner giving off a half assed glow to give us light to see by.

"Do you think dumping Donatello just to have sex with me was going to solve anything?"

Okay…that was harsh. For coming from Leonardo, that is.

"Look Leo, we can keep doing this back and forth for the rest of the day. But it's not gonna get us anywhere. I'm sorry. There. You happy? I tried to apologize the other day, but you slammed a friggin door in my face, remember?"

He sighs heavily at that. This could be a long day.

"Thanks for the apology," He practically sneers. Oh yeah, real convincing. No Oscar for you.

"Come on Leo. What the hell do you want me to do? Want me to beg for your forgiveness, cause that ain't gonna happen," I snarl and step up to him, poking him hard in the plastron with each word.

He grabs my wrist and I let him. I know him. My brother loves being the leader. Fine, if it gets us past this faster than I'll let him lead.

"You can't just say you're sorry and expect things to go back to normal. You broke our family apart. I can't forgive you that quickly. You hurt Don," He barely whispers, his grip on my wrist keeping us closer than before.

I fight the feeling of tingling across the top of my beak. I'm not sad. I won't cry.

I didn't mean to hurt him.

"It wasn't intentional. And plus, I would have hurt him more if I'd kept on pretending."

Leo lets go of me and relaxes a bit. He's been strung tight since he walked in here. I can't even imagine what poor Mike and Don had to go through to get him up here.

And they didn't even have to drag him up here themselves. They're better than I give them credit for.

"If you were pretending the whole time why did you go to him in the first place? And why not just tell him, and me, when I got back. You could have made it all so much easier," He reaches up and gives me a gentle push on the shoulder. It's a peace offering. Or as much as I'm probably gonna get out of him.

"Hell, when do I ever know why I do what I do? I was confused. I guess…I guess I just missed you a lot, alright? I was looking for something to take my mind off of you leaving me—us," I try to catch myself but I'm not fast enough.

I see the flicker in Leo's big brown eyes, even in the dim light. He catches my slip up too. It's amazing that even after all we've been through together, after knowing every inch of each other and hearing every embarrassing moan and grunt, letting that bit of info slip makes me blush and forces me to look away from my older brother.

"Still…it can't have been worth it to do that to Donny. He's our brother. You don't do that to family."

I regain my calm and cool attitude.

Alright, maybe not calm and cool. But I get back to my usual self. Confident. There we go. That's what I am. All confidence here.

"What don't you do? Betray, or have sex with? Cause either way, Leo, I'd hate to tell you, but we're pretty much screwed on both counts," My voice hisses out as I lean closer. He looks a bit offended, more so by the fact that what I said was true than any other reason.

"Look Raphael, I just can't believe you would do that to Don. If you had any sort of concern for the feelings of others, especially your own brother, you wouldn't have done what you did. Whether I was here or not. Don't blame me because you couldn't keep your libido under control."

I snarl and don't quite know what to say to that. I mean, sure, it may have just been about sex the first few times. But then it almost felt like me and Donny finally had some common ground. Something that kept us together. Something that was just ours, something to call our own in a house of four brothers. Not an easy thing to get.

"I don't know why I did it, alright Leo. But you know what, me and Donny already worked this out. It's all water under the bridge. He didn't love me and I didn't love him. We were just," I pause and contemplate my next word. "Convenient."

Leo's eyes harden and he shakes his head just a little each way. Right. That was not the correct word.

"You know what I mean. We were there for each other. It's not like we four have anyone else to go to. That was all I meant," I stutter out quickly. Somehow I get the feeling that I'm digging myself deeper.

"And me? Am I just more convenient than Donny?" He says, but that harshness is gone from his voice. Maybe all this talking is finally getting through to him.

God I hope it is.

"I."

And that's it. That's all I can get out. It was a lot easier to accept that I was in love with Leo when someone else had to say it.

"I want to trust you Raph. I really do," He reaches out and pulls me close to him. Our foreheads touch, cool and soft and broken by the harsh edges of our bandanas. His eyes seem so very deep this close. All those colors and that endless emotion within.

Leo's eyes are like looking into his very source of life. He may be able to conceal his emotions pretty well, but he can't hide that he's got this passion inside him. He lives so fiercely, no regrets, no mistakes. All out and no holds barred.

"Then trust me…" I whisper as I lean in and brush my lips against the corner of his mouth, trailing up to his cheek before just letting my head rest there, leaning softly against his.

"You lied."

I brush my hand up his side, pressing my fingers between where his plastron and his shell almost meet, the skin there soft and sensitive. He draws his body up tighter than before, loosing that relaxed stance.

"You've lied before too…" His arms loosely wrap themselves around my shoulders for a second, before pulling me away again.

I'm about to protest angrily to the separation before he leans his head to mine again. Those eyes silence me better than his mouth ever could.

"How can you be sure things won't change? What if we end up like you and Don?"

Leo's voice is soft and breathy. I can feel it on my mouth and it's as distracting as it is calming.

"If they do change, we'll deal. And me and Don…we're brothers. Same as always. We fight, we get along, we fight again. Hell, its business as usual in this family."

Leo smirks a bit and chuckles, his hands finding the edges of my shell and pulling my body closer as he angles his neck back.

He leans in and gives me a soft short kiss. Little more than our lips pressed together. But considering that when I woke up my big bro wasn't even talking to me this is a great improvement.

I grip his face strongly and crush him to me, needing to taste that life that lives in Leo.

When I release him and he pulls back a bit we are both breathing heavily, our chests so close that our shells click together with each deep inhale. His eyes flick around my face, eyes to mouth and back again in a hectic cycle.

"Do you forgive me?" I gruffly choke out as my hands find their way down to my brother's belt to keep him anchored to me.

"No," I practically jerk away from him right then and there. But he still has a hold on my shell.

"Raph," He says softly and bumps his beak against mine, making sure he has my attention. "It'll take time. You have to convince me you deserve to be forgiven."

"But you will?" The slight weakness in my voice doesn't bother me. That should be the first sign that something is wrong. That Leonardo is really affecting me now.

"Of course. You're my brother," He says as he leans in and kisses me again, forcing my head to tilt to respond to him. Somehow this feels right.

No one else can control me and be led around just as easily. It's like the two of us are always tugging each other's leashes back and forth. Constantly a struggle, even though we both know he'll always come out on top. Our own little personal game of tug-of-war.

Just the two of us in this game, the hothead and the leader. My fearless leader. This game is for me to play with him and him alone. Only Leo.

It's always been only Leo.

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Oh hey, look! The fic is done.

Sorry about the extreme delay in this final chapter. Final exams came up.

Also I fly out to Italy in about twelve hours.

The only internet access I can get over there is in internet cafes, so if you leave me comments I will sporadically respond to them.

I hope you enjoyed Syndrome, it was a ton of fun to write. And I actually finished my first fic for this fandom, woot!!


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